Still…
Just like before, Lance drifted into a dream. In his dream, he is standing at the crossroads. The man he saw before was still there, standing like a wise man. Lance walked towards him and saw that it’s not President Noynoy, but someone else who looked like him.
Lance looked down and saw that he is standing at the part of the road which is dark and filled with spiked stones and hollow trees.
“You’ve chose the road you’ll take. The road leads to the life filled with loneliness and regrets.” The man said. As Lance started walking towards the end of the long road, he saw that the other road has a lighter side, and for once he knew that e made the wrong decision.
* * *
“I still love him,” Nicole said.
“Then why did you do it?” Nova asked over the phone. “This is the worst thing to do! And if your plan works, what would you do, dumped Charles?”
“I… I don’t know,” Nicole admitted.
“Let me tell you that you’re stupid,” Nova said sarcastically.
“Yeah I know, I just wish that you were here to guide me,” Nicole said.
“And I heard that Lance’s cousins left. Cheska is busy now; the two of you must face your own problems by your own now.”
“I’m frightened, Nova.”
“About what?”
“About what the future might bring what if I fail? What if I can’t control what will happen?”
“Just trust your self,” Nova advised. “Okay, I need to go!”
“Okay bye!”
Nicole opened her computer and opened her blog. It’s been a month since Lance broke up with her, and everyday, she writes how she feels… how it hurts to see him so near yet so far. All she could do is to look at him, feel the pain, and write it all down to ease the pain.
It’s been a month, yet the pain was still there. So far, my plans are working the way I planned. But it’s Lance… Lance is my problem. Charles had taken me to their social gatherings, Lance’s always there and he never looked at me. I don’t exist in his world. I wish I could see another shooting star tonight, I’ll wish to that star to bring me back to Lance, and bring him back to me. Lance is… he is… he is my all, my forever, my destiny, and all I want is to spend my eternity with him.
When Nicole stopped, she burst again into tears just like every night since Lance broke her heart. But the only thing that gives her hope is the voice of Lance in her memory saying ‘Just believe in me.’
* * *
Lance played the song he made for Nicole. It’s has still the same dull part, and he never bothered changing it. Pain is a great teacher, and Lance learned how to handle it. He learned how to ignore his heart.
After all this time, he still loves her, and even if his heart gave up, his brain is still shouting Nicole’s name.
I’m a living dead, Lance thought. If ever I’ll have a chance to live another life, I will look for you. No matter how far I should travel, no matter you’re in different time, I will find you again, I will love you again, and I will make you mine again.
When Lance had finished playing, he went into his room and checked his e-mail. Janine sent him one. She sent a sound clip of a song made. When opened it and the song started to play, Lance quickly smiled. The song was the perfect piece to combine in his song. His song is finally complete.
He was so excited, so happy. But all of these suddenly burst like a bubble. He remembered the most painful fact, his inspiration is gone. I just hope I had this song sooner.
While downloading the sound clip, his phone rang. He answered the call and found Charlie on the other line. “Hi Lance!”
“Hey Charlie,” Lance greeted back,.
“Are you busy?”
“No, why?”
“I organized a reunion, high school friends, just our class section. Will you come?” Charlie asked.
“When are you planning to do this reunion?” Lance asked.
“Next week, let’s go to Baguio, or Tagaytay?”
“Okay I’ll go,” Lance said.
* * *
It was late in the afternoon; the sky was covered with dark grey clouds. Nicole was walking from the administration building towards the cafeteria when the rain started to pour hard.
It’s the first month of the school year, and it’s their first year at Med School. She ran towards the gym which is the closest shed for her. She entered the door, her hair is dripping and she wiped her wet books with her handkerchief.
Three meters away from her, Lance was sitting on a bench. His eyes were closed and his earphones are in his ear. Nicole saw him; her heart pounded and felt the butterflies in her stomach. She’s stunned, her breath became shallow and her hands became wet. Until now, she’s still in love with him.
Nicole slowly walked towards him. He touched his face, but Lance hand suddenly held her hand tight. Lance opened his eyes and look directly at Nicole’s eyes. There was no hint of surprise in his eyes, like he knew that somewhat Nicole was inside the gym with him. Nicole quickly pulled her hand back.
Lance pulled his earphones off and put it in his bag. He packed his things and went directly at the door. When he reached the door, thunder roared and the rain poured even harder, like nature was the one who tells him to stay inside that gym. Lance sighed and went back inside.
“Can we talk?” Nicole said.
Lance didn’t answer. He just pulled his laptop from his bag and opened it. He ignored Nicole and showed no sign of interest to talk with her.
Nicole sat beside him. “You know, after that night, I don’t know how to wake up everyday knowing the fact that I’m not with you. I’m afraid that I might burst into tears or just go insane, that’s what I feel all day long until I will go to bed and have some sleep.”
“Why are you talking about these things huh?” Lance finally answered. “Do you thing I even care? Do you think I have some interest to know?”
“Why are you talking to me like that?” Nicole asked. “That’s not you! I know you, and the man I love will never say that.”
“Maybe I’m not the person you know,” Lance said. “Maybe I’m not the man you thought I am.”
Lance picked up his bag and went outside again. He doesn’t want to hurt Nicole more. Nicole have no idea how Lance feels right now. He wants to ask her everything she’d been through since that awful night, he wanted to hold her in his arms and he wants to feel the warmth of her lips again.
“I just want to ask you something,” Nicole called after him. Lance stopped but never looked at her. “Do you still love me?”
It took Lance a while to answer, he doesn’t want to lie, but Nicole had left him with no other choice. Lance just walked away and ran into the rain leaving Nicole with an unanswered question.
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