Chapter 2 - Heart Over Matter

Secrets…

“He doesn’t have to know!” shouted Greg, glaring to his nephew.

“But Uncle, he needs to know!” Ivan reasoned out. “He’s already 15, he will understand! You can’t keep everything to Lance. He needs to know. He is ready.”

“But I am not,”

“Then when would you be ready?” Ivan asked. “Don’t be selfish!”

“I… I don’t know,” Greg whispered. “And it’s not about being selfish!”

“Then what do you prefer to call it? Uncle, I am an orphan like him. I know what he must feel like. Having no parent since birth was hard.” Ivan said.

“I can’t tell him. If you tell him, then my family will be doomed.”

When Ivan didn’t answer, Greg didn’t add anything to that. He stood up and walked towards the kitchen silently. He knew Ivan was right. Lance needs to know the truth. But that truth will destroy his family. A dark secret he kept for years.

Still sitting on the couch, Ivan sat silently. What he said a while ago was still ringing in his head. I know what he must feel like. Then suddenly he found himself thinking of his past.

He was 9 years old when his mother left him in a orphanage in. People there are nice to him, even the kids, though he differ when it comes to appearance. His father was an American; his mother was raped by his father and then left her. Her mother never told him about his father, not even his name. But his Grandmother told him that his father and his mother had a relationship first before the incident happened. His mother never treated him well. They weren’t wealthy; they just live at the squatter’s area. So it was a relief when his mother left him at a orphanage. But when he turned 13, a business man adopted him. He was a little bit old – in his late 30’s maybe, and he was surprised that the man had no neither wife nor a child.

He lived at a small town at a province. He was living with him, though even if he introduced him to everyone as his son, sometimes he feels like he was not. The only rule his foster dad gave was —

“To be still, say not a single word and talk only when you are asked to do so,” Ivan smiled to himself. The memories are so vivid that he didn’t realize he was talking to himself.

His dad, his foster dad gave him wealth, toys, clothes, sent him to private school. But he never gave his eye on him, not even giving him a second look, no hugs, no smiles, not even a gentle tap on the back when he do good things. But he never complained; he was afraid to talk.

Ivan stood up from the couch and walked silently towards his car. He didn’t bother to say goodbye to his uncle. But he was sure of one thing — Lance needs to know the truth, and he is going to tell him.

The first time he had put his eye on that boy, he never had doubted that face. He knew something was up to him. His face was almost the perfect replica of Charles, or more like Greg when he was at that age. One of the reasons why Greg adopted Lance is because Lance looked like his son.

He drove straight towards the town. He needs to catch Lance before he and his friends leave. He picked up his phone and dial Lance’s phone number. It rang once… twice… then Lance answered the line.

“Hello?” Lance answered.

“Lance, wait up. I will pick you up,” Ivan said.

“But, Ivan we are going to –” Lance said but Ivan cut him off.

“Yes I am fully aware. But this is more important.”

There was a dead silence. Then he heard three voices murmuring at the other side of the line, and then finally Lance said, “Okay, picked me up at McDonalds.”

*     *     *

“What’s the matter with you?” Lance asked. He was furious with Ivan. “You know I have to go somewhere and you blew it!”

Ivan drove towards the river of the next town. It wasn’t supposed to be a river, but since a dike at their town broke a year before, the water was diverted here. It was a nice place last summer, the water was clean and crystal clear, and when it crashes to the rocks underneath the nearby bridge, it creates a white raff. It attracted many people then, but when the rainy season came, the water became murky and no one dared to swim in the ugly river.

Ivan stopped the car, he went out and walked straight to the river side. Since when he picked up Lance, he never said a word. He knew this was the perfect place where he must say the truth

Lance followed him, “Tell me what it is that you will say,” Lance demanded.

“Haven’t you wandered, I mean ever, where your parents are?” Ivan asked.

“I did,” said Lance. “I do, and I know I will still wonder where they are.”

Ivan can’t begin what he will say. So he just said “Haven’t you asked God why did he let your parents leave you in the orphanage? Because you know I do.”

“I don’t,” said Lance. “The head mistress of the orphanage where I came from told me that all of these things that happened to me are in the Lord’s plan. Yes, maybe it is our choice, my choice to go with you here, your decision to drive the two of us here. But God planed for this day.”

“Why do you think so?” Ivan asked; he seemed like he can’t begin to talk about the secret. “You’re not angry of what happened to you? That you are an orphan?”

“No,” Lance said blankly. “I don’t think that way; I don’t want to think that way, because I don’t want to have any reason to be angry with God.”

Darn! Why can’t I say it?! Asked Ivan himself.

“Is that the only thing why you took me here?” Lance asked. He walked towards Ivan. He stopped and sat in the sand. “You know, life is like this murky river, and we are like the fish that swims in it. We have to fight the deadly current so that we can move on, but to do so, we must fight. But sometimes it is best to just go with the flow, it will be easier that way. You may never know; the current might lead you to a better place.”

Ivan still didn’t answer. “You know, today I tried to say something to a person. But by doing so I might destroy people’s life.”

“Let me guess. You didn’t tell that person what you should say so you took me here to give you an advice right?” Lance said cheerfully. Ivan can’t say it and decided that it was something that he wasn’t supposed to say and the reason Lance’s thought was stupid. So he just nodded. “Maybe it was something that you should leave hidden. If it is meant to be known by the world, then it will come out. Sometimes we just have to rely on time. Time is a powerful entity you know, it can cure broken hearts, it can intense the love, it can wither feelings, and it can make you forget about anything. But it can also reveal things that are supposed to be buried behind.”

Ivan just smiled. The sun was setting. The once golden ball now sinks behind those trees and mountains it its usual red color and shaded the sky with orange. Then Lance said. “Love is like the sun and the moon, they are gold and silver. They were cursed to chase each other in an eternal dance, it was a sacrifice that they will not see each other, and believe that one day the eclipse will come to unite the two of them. When love is real, it finds a way.”

Ivan smiled at Lance. He put his arm around Lance’s shoulder and tapped him gently.