"There comes a certain point in life when you have to stop blaming other people for how you feel or the misfortunes in your life. You can't go through life obsessing about what might have been." - Hugh Jackman

Friday, February 18, 2011

My Synesthesia


Sabi nila, napakatanga ko para mahalin ang isang babaeng hindi naman ako mahal. And so? Hindi naman sila yung nakakaramdam ng ganito eh, ano ba ang pakialam nila. Sabi rin nila hindi nila gagawin ang maghintay ng ganito katagal tulad ko, eh bakit ba? Lahat naman tayo nagmamahal, magkakaiba lang ng paraan, ganoon sila magmahal, ganito naman ako.
Hindi ako nauubusan ng pag-asa na one day mamahalin din niya ako. Tinanong ako ng best friend ko if tingin ko may gusto siya sa akin. “Sa tingin ko wala, ayokong mag-assume, pero sana oo. Pero alam kong mahal na mahal niya ang boy friend niya.” Tinanong din niya ako if binalak ko na bang sabihin. “Ilang beses kong binalak, pero hindi ako makadecide. Inisip kong sa prom night, pero baka masira lang ang gabi ko, or sa graduation, pero natatakotnakong baka yun pa ang rason para masira yung special day ko. Hindi ko naman inaasahang mag I Love You Too siya sa akin eh, ang gusto ko lang malaman niya. Pero I’ still willing to wait, after college man or may be kung kalian sasabihin ng panahon na oras na para malaman niya.”
I won’t give her the three sweetest word that a girl wants to hear, I won’t tell her “I Love You” yet, I would simply tell her my four simple words, words that are composed of my promise and my whole heart and soul — “I’m Here To Stay.” That’s my synesthesia
Martyr nga siguro ako, pero hindi ko yun ikakahiya. Hindi naman ako talagang nagpapakamartyr eh, naghihintay lang ako. Package deal lang yung sakit. I may not be the one who holds her heart; at least she has my heart even if she’s unaware of it. I will love her for eternity, I will never forget the girl who made my heart pound, my first love, my last dance on the most memorable prom in my life, my eternity, my forever.

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