Chapter 8 - Best of Friends

Last week on college, graduation’s approaching.

All fourth year students are at school tonight, none of the staffs or faculty knew about this. This is a school tradition where graduating students from all departments will sneak in to the school and do all they want to do in the whole campus. Most of us are done vandalizing the locker rooms with water base paints, throwing tissue papers all over the hall, putting rat traps all over classrooms, putting liquid hand soaps on each door know, and some engineering students set up a trap that once someone has opened the gym, it will trigger a trap that will set all the cups filled with water based paints, oils, ketchup, mustard, fish sauce, mud, etc.

I saw some Accountancy Students running down the hall towards the guard house. I heard one of them saying “Time to have some revenge!” I want to join them. I want to have some revenge with the guards too. We don’t have agenda against guards. It’s just that our guards here at school just happen to act like super visors most of the time.

I entered men’s bathroom and saw Jan, Jerome, Ernesto and Jayson filling all urinals and toilet bowls with mud, vandalizing the walls, throwing rotten fruits everywhere. The bathroom smelled like there are rotting cadavers inside.

“Want to help us here?” Jan asked when he saw me.

“No,” I said. “If I stay five minutes inside this bathroom I will definitely smell like this.”

I went to the fourth floor and saw Amanda sticking different colors of paper. I pick some papers and helped her with what she was doing. She smiled at me, a simple smile that melted my heart even if it’s just a friendly smile.

“So how’s it going?” she asked me.

“Huh?” was all I had to say in confusion.

“I mean with the stuff you have to do tonight to vandalize the school,” she said.

I just smile. There was something odd with the smell here, the air smells like beer or some kind of liquor. “I was about to ignore it when I saw three cans of beer on the floor. “Did you drink those beer Amanda?”

“Yes,” she answered without even hesitating. “Don’t worry, I’m not drunk.”

“Not drunk after drinking three cans of beer? You’re drunk. Come on, I’ll bring you home,” I said.

Amanda just laughed. “Relax Ben! I’m okay.”

I never saw Amanda got drunk and I know something is wrong. “Why did you drink all those beer then?”

She didn’t answer.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Still, she didn’t answer.

“Okay, if you don’t want to talk about it now then maybe we can talk about it some other time.”

“It’s too hard for me, Ben,” Amanda finally said. “Especially that the graduation is only days away.”

“I know, everyone feels the same way, everyone has to live school to work. Going to school every day has been a part of their everyday life since they could remember,” I said.

“I’m not talking about graduating Ben. In fact, I’m excited,” she said.

“Then what is it?” I asked.

“It’s because I haven’t told someone how much I love him,” she said. “Even if I know how much he loves me.”

“Jeremy knows how you love him.”

“I’m not talking about Jeremy, Ben,” Amanda said furiously. “I’m talking about you!”

After hearing what she had said, I dropped the glue and the papers I was holding. There was nothing I could hear. I just stared at her with shock on my face. She just stared back at me, tears are about to fall from her eyes.

“I don’t know if it’s okay to tell you that now that I have a boyfriend, especially that he’s your best friend,” she said. “But I never wanted any of this to happen, and since I’ve told you what I feel towards you, I might as well tell you everything.

“Since the first day I saw you, when you are trying to park your bike beside mine, since we walked and talked together towards our first class that morning, I can’t keep you off my head. I can’t stop thinking about you, Ben. Maybe that’s the reason why you’re the first person that popped into my head to call when Peter and I broke up. I was so devastated that night that I want to talk to the person I feels most comfortable with.”

I just stared at her; I don’t know what to say. I never expected for her to say these things. I don’t even know if there’s something to say.

“And if I have some regrets,” she said, tears flowing down her cheeks. “If I have some regrets it’s not telling you then straightly that…”

For a moment, I thought she’s about to walk away, but she didn’t. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. She closed her eyes and so did I and for once we felt like the world doesn’t exist, like nothing matters as long as we’re together. An eternity has passed and she let my lips go at last.

“I love you,” she whispered. She let go of me and picked up her things and walked slowly, she’s walking away from me.

“Amanda,” I called her name, but then I realized it’s not my mouth who called her, it was my heart that shouted her name so loud at it felt like the world heard it, and so she looked at me one last time. She heard me. She heard how my heart called her, she must have felt it.

*     *     *

Explosions of camera flashes are seen inside the gym as the graduating students (including me) are being called one by one to receive their diplomas on stage. Everyone who received a medal was busy taking pictures with them wearing their medals. The first fifty medals we’re purely academic awards, but then the next fifty is just for fun. Cloe, who always sleep on class since we’re first year, was given the medal for Most Sleepy Head award, Jayson got the Latest Boy award, AJ got the Best Prayer Leader award, Jerome got the Priest Choice award (given to those people whom the priest of the university said to have the characteristics to become one of them).

“Belleza, Kyle Benedict,” the dean called my name and I stood up and went to the stage and take my diploma.  It was my father who went to the stage with me to receive my diploma and while my sister and Mum took a picture, Dad whispered “Do you want me to get you an application form for military training?”

“No Dad,” I said coolly.

I went back to my chair and sit next to my classmates I saw Amanda going up to the stage with her uncle to receive her diploma. I smiled at her and she saw me and she smiled back.

After the ceremony, all of us gathered on the stage and took pictures of our whole class. When we realized that we’ve done all pose we know, we all started to hug and said our goodbyes. We’re all happy of course that we are all done with studying and a bit excited to work and earn our own money.

Amanda came to me, running, and she hugged me tight. “You’re my very best friend. I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too!” I said and hugged her back. I let her go before I got the slightest idea of not doing so. She obviously doesn’t remember what happened last night, but me being in a medical field knew that she remembers what she said and done.

Jeremy came and he hugged Amanda. Of course I’ve seen him doing that to her a hundred times but I still feel jealous, but I’ve learned how to deal with facts. He tapped my shoulders and said, “See you later!” and they both left.

I just look at Amanda. I wish I told her I love her too, and I am happy that she told me so. I stared at her as she walked away and thinking what would have happened if I told her how I feel.

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Okay Lang Ako

Gusto kong sumulat muli, isabay ang pag-ihip ng hangin at pagkampay ng pakpak ng paruparo sa hardin ang pagdaloy ng kaisipang nais lumawala sa isipang punung-puno ng iba’t ibang kaalamang may kaakibat ng emosyon.

Ilang taon na rin simula noong una kitang makilala. Nakaupo ka sa harapan ng silid aralan samantalang ako ay nakaupo sa bandang likuran. Bilang limang taong gulang, hindi ko naisip kung ano ang magiging parte mo sa buhay ko. May mga pagkakataong sumasagi sa isip ko na malaki ang magiging kaibahan ng buhay ko ngayon kung hindi kita nakilala. Pero paano ko pagsisisihan ang araw na nakilala kita kung iyon ang araw na nakilala ko ang babaeng minahal ko ng lubos.

Magkasama tayo halos araw-araw sa paaralan, magkasamang tumatawa, magkasalo sa bawat pagkain, magkasabwat sa bawat kalokohan, at pinagsasabihan ng mga sikreto. Napakasaya ng pagkabata ko, na-enjoy ko ang pagiging bata dahil naranasan ko halos lahat ng masasayang karanasan na dapat maranasan ng mga bata. Tumakbo, nagtago, naghabulan, at tumalon tayong magkasama, pero sa pagbagsak natin sa lupa, hindi ko inakalang sayo ang bagsak ko, nahulog agad ang puso ko para sa iyp.

Pero sa pagtungtong natin sa High School, nagkaboyfriend ka, at naiwan akong mag-isa. Napatunayan kong best friends lang tayo at hindi na aabot sa relasyong mas hihigit pa doon. Hindi mo lang alam kung paano ko pinipigilan ang pagsabok ng dibdib ko sa tuwing nakikita ko kayo, hindi mo alam kung gaano ako nasasaktan sa tuwing hawak niya ang mga kamay mo. Bakit hindi ako ang minahal mo? Bakit hindi ako na kilala mo na simula pagkabata? Bakit siya pa na nakilala mo lang sa kung saan? Sa tuwing nakikita ko ang mga titig sa akin ng mga kaibigan natin, alam kong may awa sa mga mata nila. Nagmahal ako ng babaeng hindi nararapat para sa akin, isang babaeng hanggang sa panaginip ko nalang mahahalikan.

Sa loob ng mga taong iyon na itinago ko ito, dumting din ako sap unto na kailangan kong sabihin sayo kung ano ka ba talaga sa buhay ko. Pero hindi ko inaakalang iyon pala ang sisira sa pagkakaibigang kay tagal kong inalagaan. Simula noong araw na yon, simula noong araw na sinabi ko sayo sa harap ng mga tao na mahal kita, hindi mo na ako tinitigan sa mga mata ko, hindi mo na ako pinadadalhan ng mensahe, hindi mo man lang ako makausap ng matino. Napakahirap kalimutan ang lahat, lalo na’t nagging parte ka ng halos buong buhay ako. Ang dami kong pinagdaanan para lang kalimutan ka.

Noong nagcollege na tayo, natutunan ko ding mabuhay nang wala ka, pero aaminin ko na napakahirap ng mga pinagdaanan ko, pero okay lang ako. Nabalitaan kong wala na kayo ng boyfriend mo, nagbakasakali akong baka pwedeng maging tayo naman. Pero makalipas ang ilang buwan, may bagong dumating sa buhay mo. Hindi ko nalang tatanungin kung sino siya sa buhay mo, baka hindi ko matanggap ang isasagot mo. Pero siguro, kung may maganda man siyang idinulot sa buhay natin, iyon ay simula noong nakilala mo siya, kinausap mo na ulit ako. Nakikita ko ang effort mong ibalik ang lahat sa dati. Pero natatakot  ako, baka bigla ka na naming umalis sa buhay ko at iwan akong nasasaktan. Masaya na ako sa ganito, andito ka man o wala, iniisip mo man ako o hindi. Okay na ako, humihinga pa naman at kahit ang daming benda at tahi ng puso ko, tumitibok pa naman siya. At kung sa kaling may magtanong sayo kung kumusta na ako, sabihin mo nalang na okay na ako.

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Chapter 7 - Best Of Friends

“All nursing students are invited to go to the school dance that will be held on February 14, Valentine’s Day at the gym. All the officers of each class are required to go to the meeting this afternoon, no exemptions,” Alyanna read the announcement posted at the lobby. Everyone was so excited about it except me. Everyone is going with a date and I have no one to go with except for Amanda, but of course she will go with Jeremy.

I ignored them all as they start to talk about it all day. The dance is only three days away. I don’t know why the Dean approved to this. It’s February, and it’s less than a month before the graduation and we’re all busy.

“I’m so excited about the upcoming dance,” Beverly said beside me.

“Since its Saturday tomorrow, I will go and find a dress to wear,” Alyanna told her.

I ignored them. I just stared on the other side of the room and saw Jan, Ernesto and Jayson talking about what they’ll wear and who will be their dates.

“Go with Dayanara, Ernesto,” Jayson told him. “You’ll be perfect together.”

“Who’ll be your date, Jan?” Ernesto asked.

“I dunno,” Jan answered. “Jayson, you should take Gayle!”

“Why?” Jayson asked.

“You’ll be perfect together,” Jan imitated him and they all laughed.

Hey what? They’re talking about the dance, too? I buried my face on the pile of books in front of me. Am I the only one who doesn’t plan to go to the dance?

*     *     *

Two days before the school dance.

I feel like I’m a high school student instead of a college student, everyone is so excited about the dance like they’re high school students excited for the prom. The Nursing Faculty canceled all class and postponed all the quizzes for everyone to have the time to prepare for it. I saw Alyanna and Beverly in a hurry with Gehla to the boutique. Then I saw AJ walking on the corridor alone. I thought so! She’s not going to the dance, she’d rather stay at home and read than to go to the dance.

“Hi AJ,” I greeted her.

“Hi Ben,” she greeted me cheerfully. “Aren’t you planning to go and find something to wear for the dance?”

“No,” I said. “I’m not planning to go. I assume you’re not going to the dance, too?”

“I’m going to the dance, what made you think I won’t?”

“Sorry. It’s because you’re here at school instead of looking for a dress.”

“My brother said he’ll help me tomorrow. I plan to stay here and finish some requirements on advance for next week,” AJ said.

“Alyssa Julia, you’re such a brainiac,” I told her. She just smiled.

We went to the cafeteria to have some lunch with Vince and his friends. I was surprised to see Jeremy alone in the cafeteria. He saw me and waved his hand.

“I’m looking for you,” he said.

“Why?”

“Aren’t you going to look for something to wear for the dance?” he asked.

“No,” I said. “I’m not planning to go.”

“Why? You should go, everyone’s planning to go. Everyone will go. Come on, Amanda’s waiting on the parking lot.”

“You left her on the parking lot?” I asked in amazement with his stupidity. Who, that is on their normal thinking capacity, will leave their girlfriend on the parking lot alone?

“Yeah,” he answered coolly. Can I test how flexible his brainstem is by breaking his neck?

“You should go. Amanda might get bored and leave.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

“Yes,” I said. “No go! Shoo! Shoo!” He laughed and ran towards the door.

*     *     *

Night before the dance.

I just finished reading five novels. I’m trying to do something to make my day useful. Everyone’s going to the dance except me. I assume everyone’s wearing their coat and tie and dresses in front of the mirror and they’re so excited for tomorrow. I was putting my books back on the shelf when I heard my phone rang.

“Ben, Jeremy’s on the phone,” my Mum called from downstairs. I went running towards the stairs and looked at her.

“Tell him I’m not here,” I whispered.

Mum covered the mouth piece of the phone with her palm and she whispered, “I told him you’re here.”

“Tell him I’m sleeping!”

“Just answer it, Benedict.” Uh-oh. She called me Benedict. I took the phone from her.

“Hullo,” I greeted. “I would really appreciate it if you recognized the existence of my cellular phone.”

“Sorry, I thought you’ll ignore my phone call again,” how did he find out I’m ignoring his phone calls?

“I’m not ignoring you’re phone calls,” I lied.

“Yes you are!” he said. “Now, can you come here for a minute? I need to talk to you. And don’t you tell me you’re busy, your mum told me you’re not doing anything important.”

I didn’t argue. I went back to my room and change my clothes. I didn’t bother using my bike. Jeremy’s house is just few blocks away. When I was already standing in front of their house, I rang the doorbell once. One of the maids came and opened the gate for me.

“Sir Jeremy’s waiting for you,” she said.

She led me to the living room. Their house, of course, was magnificent. When I first entered in this house when I was still in first year, I thought I was on a hotel and I was looking for a receptionist. Jeremy’s mom, Aunt Elizabeth, was sitting on the couch while reading magazines and drinking tea. She noticed me and smile. I smiled back.

“Good evening, Aunt Elizabeth,” I greeted.

“Good evening, Benedict,” she greeted back.

“Jeremy called me to come, I’m sorry if I disturbed you.”

“It’s okay. He’s at his room,” she said and she pointed at the stairs. I smiled again and went to Jeremy’s room on the third floor of their manor.

Aunt Elizabeth is such a nice woman. She always come to our house every weekend to have some ‘girl bonding’ with Mum. She’s not like her husband that talks about business all the time. She talks like a normal person actually.

The door of Jeremy’s room is the only door in the house that is painted with black. I knock once and I heard him saying “Come in.” I twisted the knob and saw him sitting on his desk.

“What the—” I was about to laugh. His face was filled with red spots and his arms and neck are full with it. 

“You have chicken pox?”

“Yeah,” he said. “And I don’t think I can go to the dance tomorrow. You may want to go now that you know I have a virus.”

“No. It’s okay,” I said, trying to keep myself from laughing. “Adaptive immunity, I had Chicken pox when I was in high school. Why did you want me to come here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked.

“You want me to laugh at you?”

“No! I’m sick and I can’t go to the dance,” he said. “Amanda won’t have a date!”

I looked at him with a puzzled expression. Then he said, “I want to ask you if you can go to the dance with Amanda in my place.”

“Sure,” I said instantly.

“Thanks,” Jeremy said.

*     *     *

Amanda and I arrived at the gym. Jeremy (trying to make up with his absence) told their driver to pick me and Amanda on our houses and drop us on the gym. Now I wish I have my own car to do that. Amanda was still giggling about the girl we saw outside who stumbled when she tried to go out of their car and everyone is looking at her.

I accompanied Amanda to her friends. The girls are too noisy complementing each other’s hair, make-up and dress, shoes, purse and jewelry. I sat beside Charles (our classmate, Beverly’s date) who looked at them with the weirdest expression. “Can you believe them? Are they for real?”

“If I know what that question actually means I might be tempt to answer,” I said.

“Look at them,” he said. “They complement each other too much! They already complemented each other from head to toe, from their dresses to their toenails!”

“Don’t mind them. That’s how girls are,” I said. I stood up and said, “I’m going to get some punch.”

“Hey, don’t take from that table near from the speaker,” Charles said. “I saw some nasty second years putting something on that one.”

“Maybe it’s just wine or some liquor.”

“No, I’m sure it’s not liquor.”

I went to the other table instead. I was looking at the crowd for someone familiar when Charles came and took punch for himself. “You like her, don’t you?”

“Who?”

“Amanda of course!” Charles said.

“What? What made you t-think that I like her? I mean, s-she’s my best friend’s girlfriend.”

“But it’s not impossible. I know when a person likes someone.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s on how they look at them or how they act with them. Don’t worry, I won’t tell Jeremy if you really like Amanda.”

“I don’t like Amanda,”

“Don’t deny it!” I just smiled at him.

“Yes, I like her,” I admitted.

“I thought so. So, can you rate in the scale of 1-10 how much you like her?”

“11, I said.”

Charles laughed and said “You exceeded, but, shit man! You’re in love with her!”

“Don’t tell anyone,” I said. “No one can know.”

“You have my word,” he said. “You know, I know how it feels like to be in love with your friend, I did when I was in High School but she had a boy friend then, but that was a long story. But yours is a little different, you’re in love with your best friend’s girlfriend. Come on, they’re waiting for us.”

We went back to our table where Amanda, Beverly, Alyanna and Gehla are waiting. Charles and Beverly went to dance followed by Alyanna and her date. I took Amanda’s hand and we followed them. I took her to the center of the dance floor. She put her hands on my shoulders and I put my hands on her waist.

“Thanks for coming here tonight,” Amanda said. “Thanks for saving me from going here alone.”

“Jeremy asked me to,” I said.

“So if he didn’t ask you, you won’t come here and be my date?”

“I’ll still go,” I said.

We swayed back and forth, feeling the music and looking at each other’s eyes. Neither of us said a word nor tried to look away. This moment, as they say, is magical. We’re like Edward Cullen and Bella Swan on the last scene at twilight, I feel like we can dance forever. I feel like we can always be like this forever.

*     *     *

As I walk her down her street, she took my hand and said “Thanks for being my date tonight. You said you can’t come to the dance because you’re going to be busy but you came for me.”

“Nah! Don’t mention it,” I said. I told her I won’t be going to the prom because I’m going to be busy, but the truth is, I don’t want to come because I don’t want to see her with Jeremy. “What happened to Jer anyway?”

“He’s sick,” Amanda said. “Can you come over here tomorrow? Let’s visit Jeremy tomorrow,” I looked at her and she added “Together.”

“Sure,” I said. Her eyes held mine for a split second, but it felt as if though she looked at me for hours. She held my hand tighter. This moment was perfect, it will be better though if only she say...

“I’m worthy of you...” she said. I looked at her, wide eye. She looked at me too, and she added as she point towards my corsage “White roses means ‘I’m worthy of you’.”

“Oh, okay...” was all that I could say.

Unlike Jeremy, I don’t have cars, big houses or 5 hectare backyard or 30 body guards or even money, but right now I feel like I’m the king of United Kingdom. This moment is so perfect that even the king will become envy of me.

“Wait, let’s stop for a minute,” Amanda said. I led her towards the lawn of Mrs. Seeley’s yard and take a seat. She took her shoes and massaged the posterior part of her leg. “This walking surely worn my legs out.”

We just sat there for a while. I stared at her black hair, they’re as black as night. Her eyes were brown, beautiful and captivating. Her arms are thin and her shoulders are bare now because she took the shawl of her gown. She’s so beautiful. I met her two years ago, I’ve been since then, now I can’t remember how to live without her.

“Ben,” she whispered my name; it’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. “You told us before that you’ve been in love with the same girl ever since you started entering college but you never told us who is it.”

I just stared at her and smiled. I can’t tell her she’s that girl. She’s my friend’s girl friend. “Can you tell me who is it?” she asked. I just laughed and stared at the street. “Okay, I get it, it’s a secret. So you’re really in love after all this time with this girl, huh!”

I stared at her eyes and said, “Always.” She just stared at me, she said or did nothing. We stared at each other like we’re petrified. Then at last, it was Amanda who broke the silence. “It’s getting late.”

We reached her house after few minutes, the patio lights are on but it’s already dark inside their house. She opened the gate and asked me to come in and have a coffee, but I refused and said I need to go home. I turned my back and was about to leave when she said, “I had a great time, thanks.” And to my surprise, she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I stared at her as she enters their front door and as she mouthed the words “Good night.” I just stood there for another 5 minutes, completely petrified.

I want her. I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, but she didn’t notice me that way and I knew it. I love her, I want to tell her but I’m just too shy and I don’t know why.

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Chapter 6 - Best Of Friends

The bell rang and I half ran towards our next class. I was trying to get as far as possible from this sweet little couple — Amanda and Jeremy. It’s been quite a while since Amanda and Jeremy had been together, and it’s not that easy to deal with them every day. I can’t even look at them in the eye; I can’t show them how jealous I am. There are times I just try to avoid them, I just go with Vince (my cousin and a business management student) and his friends. I prefer to be alone if they’re not free rather than to spend the whole 

 day with Jeremy and Amanda. But I can’t avoid them every day.

I sat on the chair behind the classroom. I chose it because it’s the only vacant seat in the middle of that side of the room. I don’t want to sit on the other side of the room where there are three vacant seats where Amanda and Jeremy can seat next to me.

“It’s curious,” said Beverly, my classmate who’s sitting next to me.

“What’s curious?” I asked.

“You used to sit there beside Amanda and Jeremy,” Beverly said. “And we all think that you’re Jeremy’s little chaperon.”

“What?”

“Well, everyone thinks about it of course, except AJ who’s not fond of gossips and talking,” Beverly said.

“Why are you all thinking of that?” I asked.

“Because you’re always with them—”

“I’ve always been with them since first year,” I interrupted.

“Yeah, yeah,” she said. “We’re all aware of it, but things are different now. They’re together now, and you don’t belong anymore.”

“I-I’m sorry,” I said. “But I didn’t know that friendship has an expiration date.”

“I’m not saying that you don’t have to be friends with them anymore.”

I just shut up and tried to forget what she just said. I’m trying to avoid them for a month now, and it’s not easy when the girl you love asked you on the phone “Are you avoiding me?” I didn’t know what to answer, every time she calls me I’m trying and dying not to talk with her and pretending to be busy. I can’t focus on what I’m doing sometimes because of thinking about her and Jer. I absentmindedly interchanged my requirements for my two clinical instructors last week and I have to run after the other to take what I gave them and give the right one. And I burned what I’m frying for lunch yesterday because I’m lost in my thoughts.

“Benedict, are you out of your mind?” Charm shouted when she smelled the burning fish.

Just now, I just realized that I sighed more than ten times. The class has already started. I jot down notes while I listen to my instructor. I took a glance to Amanda and Jeremy, she was taking down notes while he just talks and talks like always. I just look away. I can’t change the fact that they’re together now, and I 

can’t do anything about it.

*     *     *

“Ben?” Amanda said over the phone. “Can we talk, please?”

“What is it?” I asked.

“Nothing,” she said. “It’s just that you’re like so far away from us now, are you trying to avoid us?”

“No, no,” I lied. “Let’s say I’m just giving the two of you time to be together.”

“I know you’re lying,” she said. “What is it?”

“What?”

“What is it that makes you want to avoid us? We’re your friends, Ben. Do you have a problem? You’re not yourself lately.”

I closed my eyes tightly and tried to think of what to say. “Come with us tomorrow,” she said. “We are planning to have another bonfire at the shortcut, more like of a camping actually.”

“I don’t know if I can come,” I said.

“I’m not asking you to come,” Amanda said. “I’m ordering you.”

*     *     *

It was indeed a camping, and most of our classmates came. A huge fire was burning at the center of the clearing surrounded by tents and people dancing and singing. Instead of joining the lovebirds Amanda and Jeremy, I sat on a tree trunk beside Beverly and another classmate of ours, Alyanna. AJ was helping the others to distribute glass of drinks and she gave me one just as when Amanda came and took my arm and pulled it.

“Hey, what the hell—” I tried to protest.

“Sit,” she said, pointing to the chair beside her. I sat and she sat beside me. “I wanted to talk to you for quite a while now.”

“About what?”

“Nothing in particular,” she said. “I guess I just miss you.”

I stared at her and smiled. I can stop grinning about what she just said. Did you hear what she just said? I wanted to shout and go crazy about it, but I can’t so I just grinned wider and wider. “Why are you grinning.”

“Nothing,” I said. “Come, let’s dance!”

I pulled her from her chair and we joined our friends and we all danced crazily. We forgot that we’re on a forest and not on a disco. Karl, being the one nearest to the music player, turned the music louder and people it became more like a party here than a bonfire. I don’t know who did it, but someone sprayed beer all over the dancing area. Amanda pulled me fast and we’re the only one who does not smell like beer. We were all laughing and just enjoying ourselves.

“Where’s Jeremy?” I asked.

“He went to the town to buy some drinks,” she shouted. The music is too loud that we need to shout to hear each other. “He’s with Jayson and Jan!”

Now I remember its Jeremy’s 18^th Birthday tonight. I remembered because of what Amanda said. No one will sell them liquors if they’re still minor. “He’s enjoying the life of being 18 years old and of legal age.”

After few minutes of dancing, Jeremy and the others came with three cases of beer. They put it on the center of the clearing as everyone sat on chairs and tree trunks. Someone turned the music off and they started to distribute bottles of beer.

“You came!” Jeremy said to me cheerfully as he gave me and Amanda each a bottle of bear.

“Yeah,” I said. “Happy birthday, buddy!”

“Thanks!” he said and went back to distribute more beer.

We sat again on our bench and we both put our beers on the ground. “You won’t drink it?” Amanda asked.

“I’m drinking wine and other liquors, but I don’t like beer,” I said.

“I don’t drink at all,” Amanda said and she laughed.

People we’re singing Happy Birthday for Jeremy now, Amanda was just looking at him smiling. After they sing and Jeremy gave a little speech, people resumed dancing. He pulled Amanda to dance with him and they both vanished in the dancing crowd.

I need to deal with the fact that Amanda is my best friend’s girlfriend. Avoiding them won’t do anything good. All I need is to accept what is happening and don’t give a damn thing, like how I stare at them now while they dance and they kiss—

Hey WHAT??!!!

I’m looking at them from my chair, four meters away from me, Jeremy kissed Amanda on the lips and they hugged after. I tried to smile but I know it didn’t reach my eyes and I just scratched my neck. Man, I’m just trying to deal with it now they just kissed in front of me.

It’s okay, I need to deal with facts.

After few minutes, there are some who are drunk now and is sleeping on their tents. My house is just two blocks away from the entry point of the woods and I plan to go home after this jungle party. Everyone is listening as Ernesto played the guitar and Christine and Gayle led the singing thing. Every after a song, someone needs to tell an urban legend or a horror story or they will be dared to say something true or do a consequence when the bottle points to them.

“Okay! Who will be the next story teller?” Christine said as she spins the bottle. The bottle stopped and points at Jayson. Everyone looked at him and he said, “Anyone who heard about the story of the white lady on our back yard?”

“No one’s interested with that, bro,” Karl said.

“How about the werewolf that resides on the farm of the Seeley’s?” he suggested.

“No werewolf or vampires on this country,” I reminded him.

“Okay, how about this,” he said. “My mother told me once about her experience in college,” everyone is now listening. “She was walking on the corridor at 8 in the evening on the administration building where she does some office work because she is a working student. So she was walking—”

“What school is it again?” Jan interrupted. And we all shouted at him for interrupting when we are almost into the story. “Sorry, guys.”

“So, as I was saying,” Jayson continued. “She was walking on the corridor when she heard something in front of her, something bouncing. She thought a varsity player on basketball or volleyball was still in the building with her but then she realized what a varsity player would do on the administration office.

“She tried to focus on the end of the corridor, trying to make out a figure out of the dark. The she saw it (Amanda pushed her body on my arm, she’s now afraid.), a something round was bouncing—ricocheted— on the walls. She stopped from walking and waited for it to stop, she’s afraid that it might hit her. And then the thing stopped from bouncing when it was few feet away from her, and it rolled to her feat and she saw,” he leaned towards us, his face serious and scary, “a human head.”

Something big jumped behind us and put its big hands on Amanda’s shoulders. Amanda shouted and she launched herself to me, hugging me tight. Everyone laughed so hard; I looked behind us and saw that it was just Jeremy (now laughing) who jumped at us. I tapped Amanda’s back and I said, it’s okay now, it’s just Jeremy.

She let go of me and tried to compose herself. “Sorry,” she said. The bottle is now spinning again, and everyone is waiting for it to stop. All of us are staring at the bottle as its spin slowed down little by little and it stopped, pointing at me.

“Sorry, I don’t have any ghost stories,” I said.

“Well then, truth or dare?” Gayle asked.

“Truth,” I answered.

“Tell us something about your love life,” she said. Everyone looked at me, I don’t know I they all look so interested.

“Why are you all looking at me like that?” I asked.

“No one has an idea about your love life,” Gayle said.

“Nobody knows if you have or had a girlfriend,” Alyanna added.

I sighed and smiled. “Can’t I just change my answer and just say ‘dare?’”

“No!” They all shouted.

“Okay,” I said. “My love life? My love life isn’t for the pain of the heart. I’ve never had a girlfriend in my entire life. I fell in love with a girl for the first time when I entered college and I’m still in love with her but I don’t think I’ll tell her.”

“Why?” they asked.

“Ask that again if the bottle points at me again,”

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Chapter 5 - Best Of Friends

I can feel the cold wind and enters my room and it chills my spine, I can hear Christmas carol and people greeting each other a Merry Christmas. Our Christmas tree downstairs is filled with presents. We’re going to spend Christmas here at my Grandmum’s place, and Amanda will spend it on her suitor’s place. Uncle Hugo asked her to spend it there, he asked me too but I refused. Who, that is in his normal thinking capacity, would like to see the girl he likes be with the family of her suitor?

We’ve been here for a week, and we’re planning to spend another week here. My Grandmum lives on the sea side. I love to sleep and wake up on the sound of the waves crashing on the bay, smelling the salty air and feeling the breeze in the morning. Before we leave our house, Amanda gave me my Christmas present early, it was silver Superman ring. I laughed as I gave her present, she laughed too when she found out that it was a silver Wonder Woman necklace.

Mum, Dad, and Grandmum is cooking on the kitchen, my sister’s outside talking with Carlo on the phone while I just sat on my room, just staring on the ocean. I can remember living here all summer when I was ten when my Granddad died. It was a tragic summer, really, for me. I need to spend the whole summer in this boring place where I could just have spent it at home and played with my friends.

I tried to call Amanda today, three times, but she didn’t answer it so I called Jeremy. He sounded so happy and excited. “Hiya buddy!”

“Jer have you talked with Amanda today?” I asked. “I tried to call her, but she didn’t answer.”

“Yeah, I talked to her over the phone about fifteen minutes ago,” Jeremy said. “I’m pressured, Ben! Amanda told me that his Uncle and Aunt will come over for Christmas Eve to! God, I’m excited.”

I froze. It took me more than just few seconds to process what I just heard. Her Aunt and Uncle will go to the Centino’s for Christmas dinner with Amanda? Did I hear it right? “Hey Ben? Are you still there?”

“Oh,” I said as I finally processed what is happening there back home. “That’s great, great indeed.”

“I wish you were here, Ben. Who knows what will happen tonight!” Jeremy said.

“Yeah, yeah,” I said. “Hey, uhm, listen. I need to go now because I need to run some errands (Liar!). I’d love to talk but I gotta go.”

“Okay, sure buddy,” Ben said and I hung up.

I thought to myself, what will you do if your best friend’s courting the girl you love?

Well, I don’t know the answer myself. I was struggling to answer that question for a year now and I still can’t answer it. At first I was so confident that Amanda won’t say yes to Jeremy, but now...

...it’s different.

*     *     *

“Merry Christmas,” Grandmum greeted us.

“Merry Christmas,” we all said. We are now sitting on the kitchen table and about to start our small feast, but it’s traditional that the oldest person who’s present in the dining table will give a message before we start eating.

“Tonight, as we all know, is the Christmas Eve,” Grandmum started. “I would like to thank you all for travelling all the way here to spend Christmas with me. I’m getting old and I don’t think I can go and travel as often as before. I’m not sure how many Christmas can I wait to come; I might pass a way one of these days...”

“Mom, don’t say that,” Mum said. “You’re still strong and healthy.”

“But I’m not getting any younger, Carol,” Grandmum said. “One of these days, I’ll meet your Grandfather again, and I’ll tell him how wonderful our grandchildren are...”

“Don’t talk like that, Mom,” said Dad. “Let’s just eat and... and enjoy the night.”

And so, we ate our dinner. The dining table was filled with laughter and stories and anecdotes of my Grandmum’s and Granddad’s love story. They met at this town in the year 1957, my Granddad is a fisherman and my Grandmum is a teacher just like Mum. She said that my Granddad fell in love with her the moment he saw her, but of course my Grandmum gave him a bit challenge for courting her. I missed the rest of the details; I just stared at my pasta for the rest of the evening, thinking of what’s happening on the other side of the country at the Centino’s manor.

Uncle Hugo might have bored the Pierce’s with his undying business techniques and how he persuades his business partners to invest on his business. I can’t believe I used the word business three times on the same sentence. Maybe Amanda fell asleep on the dining area while listening to those, I almost did when Uncle Hugo said that at our house. Or what if Amanda and Jeremy are together now? I can’t bear the thought of it; I wish I just stayed at home. Alone, yes, but at least I know what’s happening there.

“Benedict,” Charm whispered. “Are you alright? You’re not touching your food.”

“I’m fine,” I lied as I stare and played my chocolate cake baked by Grandmum.

“That food is supposed to be eaten,” she said. “That’s not a toy to be played with, and you’re not a kid to play. Quit it.”

I dropped my fork on my plate. I sighed, they’re still talking about Grandmum and Granddad’s love story. Then after a few minutes, it’s time to open our presents. Grandmum gave each of us a present, she gave Mum and Charm each a pair of shoes, and she gave Dad a new phone and gave me an iPod. I gave Grandmum a new hat, she likes hat. Charm and I saved money to buy Mum and Dad a couple’s wrist watch.

Mum and Dad gave me a small piece of square thing that is wrapped with gift wrapper. I know what’s in it before I opened it, and I was right! It was a book. My sister gave me a box, and I was surprised when I opened it! A new camera, and not just a camera, it’s a professional camera, DSLR!!!

We spent a whole hour taking pictures with my new camera. I wished someone will give me a car for 

Christmas. But it’s not yet too late if someone decides to give me one; I’m willing to wait until New Year!

After we washed the dishes and said our goodnights, we all went to our rooms and turned off the lights. I was about to close my eyes when my phone rang. It was the tone that does differ from the others; I set a different tone with Amanda’s number. I know its Amanda calling.

“Ben,” Amanda said. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas Amanda,” I said. “How’s the dinner with Jeremy’s family?”

“It was great,” she said. “But I got bored with Dad talking about his business—”

“Dad?” I interrupted.

“Oh, sorry,” Amanda said. “I forgot. Jeremy’s dad told me to call him Dad. He said its okay since Jeremy and I were together now.”

Oops, a tear slipped from my eye. I can’t believe it. Amanda and Jeremy? She forgot to tell me her supposedly great news before greeting me a Merry Christmas. My mind got the thought, but... but my heart wont. Am I just dreaming? I-I don’t know what to feel. I’m not even aware that tears pooled my eyes and they dropped one by one.

“Ben, are you still there?” Amanda asked. “Hey, I’m sorry I forgot to tell you.”

“No, it’s okay,” I lied, my voice is shaking. It’s not okay, I’m not okay. My best friend and the girl I love have a relationship now other than being friends, how am I supposed to be okay? “That’s cool! I need to go Amanda, I have to do something.” I hang the phone cutting what she’s trying to say.

I lay on my bed, bathing my pillows with tears, and let the moon and stars witness how I breathe with a broken heart. I heard my phone rang its still Amanda who’s calling. I didn’t answer; I don’t want to hear what she’s going to say. I can’t stop crying stupidly, I don’t want her to hear me crying. I ignored it until it stopped ringing. I wish the earth will split and devour me and never bring me back. I feel so bad that I wanted to die in this very moment. I tried to sleep, but I can’t, my heart and my mind are enjoying the last Christmas gift I had just received before the sun has risen.

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Chaper 4 - Best Of Friends

Ever since Peter and Amanda broke up, Jeremy seems to be more enthusiastic on showing his feelings for Amanda. I didn’t talk about it with him, but I want to tell him he’s beginning to look stupid. After I topped my class last year (I’m on my second year now), Jeremy seemed to be more competitive than ever. It was, as if, his father told him not to let me beat him. Well, it was normal for parents to say those things to their children; I always hear it from Dad.

 “Never let Jeremy beat you on class,” he said.

Well, I didn’t have put an effort to beat him on class, especially that he has a poor study habits. Three times a week, I give him free tutorials. We started to have our duties on hospitals after our Capping and Pinning Ceremonies three months ago. My Mum cried when Dad pinned my pin on my clothes at the stage. Then she never let me use the uniform I used at the ceremony, my Mum is a very sentimental person.

Charm and Carlo graduated from college last year. My sister is now ready to take her licensure exam that’ll be held two weeks from now. She plans to work as soon as possible to help our parents in earning money and giving our family a better life. That sounds like Mum talking.

Jeremy’s Dad bought me a new laptop as a gift for tutoring his son. He said if it wasn’t because of me, his son will fail. Yeah, that’s true, but Jer passed not because I tutored him, it’s because I let him have a good look on my test papers, but I intentionally give him some wrong answers for our scores not to tie. I let him have a 60-75% of the correct answer.

Now, I’m sitting here at the cafeteria with Jer and Amanda for lunch. I barely touched my food, I only stared at it, I’m too busy with doing requirements and I don’t feel hungry unless people ask me if I’m hungry. Amanda was as much as busy as I am; she’s eating though, while Jeremy’s as busy as ever, busy with his new phone. If I didn’t know him better, I’ll think that he’s nothing but a spoiled brat.

“It’s Saturday today,” Jeremy said.

“So?” I said.

“So, it’s Sunday tomorrow,” when neither I nor Amanda answered or said something he added, “It means free day tomorrow!”

“We know,” Amanda said. “But it’s really a free day for us, when I say us I mean you, me, and Ben. We have a lot of things to do.”

“So?” Jer asked stupidly.

“So,” I said raising my voice a bit. “So we can’t go out and hang out tomorrow if that’s what you want.”

“Then let’s hang out tonight,” he said. Amanda and I looked at each other with puzzled expression, and we both shrugged. “We can go to a bar, or have a movie...”

“As you may have notice,” I started. “There’s no bar in this area. And if you’re thinking of going to the next town, forget it! It’s not the bar you’re thinking of, it’s full of dancing naked women, and Dad said there’s always a riot that happens there. If you want to catch a riot and spend the night at prison, then I can’t go with you. What about you Amanda?”

“Certainly not! I will not go!” Amanda said, smiling. “And movies? I don’t think so. Remember that you’re Dad bought us tickets for the premier night of all those movies.”

“Do you have ideas then?” Jer asked. Is he for real? He’s actually asking us to go out when it’s our busiest time ever?

“None,” Amanda said. “But I think we need a break from all these.” Now, Amanda’s in to it.

“Let’s have a bonfire,” I suggested. Since Amanda wants to go out now, then I might as well go with them. “Tonight at the shortcut.”

“Isn’t it dangerous there?” Amanda asked. “I mean there’s no wild animals or snakes there, is there?”

“No, there’s nothing in there but trees and some sort of insects. The woods are completely safe as far as I know,” I said.

“Then, it’s settled!” Jeremy said. “I’ll pick the two of you tonight at 6 and well have a bonfire till dawn.”

*     *     *

We’re now sitting on a tree trunk with a huge bonfire in front of us. We put some mallows on the fire and hotdogs. Jeremy plays the guitar and we all sing together. Now I thank Jeremy for bring up the idea of going out tonight, my mind needs some air from books.

“Here’s another one, I don’t know how to sing this, so it’s up to you two,” Jeremy said and played a familiar song.

“Tried to break love to the science,” Amanda started to sing. “In the act of pure defiance, I broke her heart. As I pulled apart her theories, as I watched her growing weary, I pulled her apart.

“Having heavy conversations, ‘bout the furthest constellations of our souls,” I continued. “And we’re just trying to find some meaning in the things that we believe in, but we got some ways to go.”

“Of all the things that she’s ever said, she goes and says something that just knocks me dead,” we both sang together and we laughed.

“Okay, enough,” Amanda laughed. “Next song please.

Jeremy strummed the guitar again and I started, “What if we we’re made for each other? Born to become best friends and lovers?”

“I want to stay right here,” she continued. “In this moment with you, over and over and over again.”

I just smiled and stop singing. I wish we weren’t singing when she said that. Yeah, what if we we’re made for each other?

“It’s been a year,” Jeremy said and stopped playing, “Since you and Peter broke up.”

“Yeah,” Amanda said. “It’s been a year since my eyes opened wide.”

“Can I ask you something then?” Jeremy asked. Oh no, please, don’t! No! I know what he’s about to say. 

“Can I court you to be my girlfriend?” Damn!

Amanda stared at him with what expression. She blinked three times and she stared at me. I didn’t look at her for I might say “Say no!” Jeremy has a hoping expression in his face, waiting for an answer. No one said a word, no one broke the silence.

Amanda scratched her neck and said, “Why me?”

“I like you since first year Amanda,” Jeremy said. “I wanted to tell you ever since, but you were with Peter then. And when you two broke up I tried to tell you but I know I need to give you time. I tried to make you feel that I have feelings for you and I just got the courage to tell you know.”

“But, Jer, we’re friends,” Amanda said.

“I know, I know, but I’m willing to do anything,” Jeremy said.

“Jer, I don’t want to give you falls hope,” Amanda said.

“Okay,” Jeremy said. I thought he was accepting that he was being dumped. Then he added, “But I want you to know that I won’t give up.”

I gave a false smile and I don’t think that it fooled anyone. So now, Amanda has a new suitor, shit! And it’s my best friend. Damn it! I took a half burned hot dog and took a bite, not minding that it’s hot and it burned my tongue. I chewed it hard and swallowed it fast, I hope I choke and die here now.

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Chapter 3 - Best Of Friends

It’s been two months now that Jeremy tries and tries and dies trying to be cool and be charming with Amanda, and he suck at it. He calls me his best friend, he’s sort of my best friend too because he spends more time here in my place and talks about Amanda and Amanda and Amanda rather than studying at home which I got used to. I felt weird when he came one afternoon and he just asks me to help with our lessons on Anatomy.

I went outside the bathroom after a late night shower and lay on my bed after I put on my clothes on. It’s been a long week and thank God it’s Sunday tomorrow and I don’t have homework or things to do. I closed my eyes and was ready to sleep when my phone rang. What the hell? I look at the digital clock beside my bed, it says it’s already 12:45 a.m. Who would call me at this time of the night?

I picked my phone and looked at the screen, it was Jeremy. I opened the drawer beside my bed and put my phone inside it and I pretend that I didn’t hear it and went back to sleep.

*     *     *

Amanda and I went to the church together the next morning. We both laughed when we saw each other, I was wearing an orange turtle neck and white jacket while she wears a white dress and orange cardigan.  It felt like we’re dating until Peter comes along. He laughed at us and said he thought we’re going to perform inside. Jerk, I thought to myself.

The three of us sat on the pews of the church, Amanda sitting between me and Peter. Peter was a talkative person, he talks and makes fun of the pastor and people inside the church and Amanda says he’s being rude and I can’t focus on the sermon because I’m trying not to laugh at what Peter was saying.

“You’re being rude Peter,” Amanda said. “The pastor is older than you, give him some respect.”

“No, the pastor is not just old, he’s ancient! I bet he won’t need phone or internet to contact his old friends, all he needs is an Ouija board. And the only respect his gonna get from me is respect from the dead!”

I giggled. “Sorry,” I said when Amanda glared at me. She hit my ribs with her elbows. “Aw! What was that for?”

“That’s for being rude to someone who’s older than you,” she said.

“Well sorry, I can’t help it. What Peter said was funny!” with that Peter held his hand in front of us and he mouthed “Give me five.”

Amanda crossed her arms and didn’t say a word. “Every kid here hates him anyway,” I said. “He’s an arrogant, self-centred, selfish man. We loathe him you know, me and everyone who’s my age.”

After the mass, Peter told Amanda that he needs to go to his classmate’s house to do some group project. Amanda and I went to eat on a fast food where we ask Jeremy to meet us.

“You still haven’t broken up with Peter,” I said. “I thought your eyes will open wide after all those times that he made you cry.”

“Ben, please,” she sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it. Besides we’re okay now.”

I sighed and sip on my coffee. I didn’t say anything so Amanda said “Blab it out, I know you want to say something but you’re just being a gentleman by not telling.”

“Okay. I’ll be frank with you. You said you’re okay now, but until when? You’ve said that hundreds of times before Amanda! And after few days you come to us crying,” I said. She didn’t answer. “I wished you didn’t ask me to say it.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Jeremy went strutting towards us. “Hey, guys! What did I miss?” He asked and sat beside Amanda. I looked at Amanda and she looked at me too and we said simultaneously, “Nothing.”

“I called you last night Ben but you didn’t answer,” he said.

“Oh, about that,” I said and thought of an excuse. “Well, I was asleep and I didn’t hear it. Sorry, buddy.”

“It’s alright bro,”

As always, it was Jer who did most of the talking. I listened this time, he’s trying to impress Amanda with his “extraordinary” skills on surfing, him being the captain of the basketball team of his old school, his experience in fishing, and more bragging. I know he didn’t make these things up, I saw pictures of him doing those things on their house when he asked me to come over.

Amanda, on the other hand, was amused. She’s totally listening to Jeremy. I think Jeremy’s plans are doing their job. I admit I hate this feeling, I feel so out of place and now... now I wish Jeremy didn’t come here at all!

*     *     *

I went outside the bathroom after a late night shower and lay on my bed after I put on my clothes on. It’s been a long week and thank God it’s Sunday tomorrow and I don’t have homework or things to do. I closed my eyes and was ready to sleep when my phone rang. What the hell? I look at the digital clock beside my bed, it says it’s already 12:45 a.m. Who would call me at this time of the night? If it’s Jeremy again I tell you I will have my phone thrown directly to his window and I’ll make sure I’ll hit him hard on the head!

I looked at it and to my surprise; it wasn’t JEREMY CENTINO that appeared on my phone’s screen. Instead it’s AMANDA PIERCE. Shoot! I switch on my lampshade and answered the call immediately. “Hello! Amanda! Hey,”

“Whoa! Whoa! Hold your horses,” she laughed. “Did I wake you up? Sorry.”

“No, its okay,” I said. I can’t help it but to smile as I try not to shout in because Amanda called. “What is it?”

“Nothing, it’s just that I can’t sleep,” can you believe this? I can’t describe the feeling when she said that, she chose to call me instead of Peter now that she can’t sleep!

We talk for hours, I know that she forgot that it was Monday tomorrow but I didn’t remind her because I don’t want this conversation to end, we could be like this forever. I can feel that she’s still wide awake, there’s no hint of drowsiness in her sweet voice. Jeremy was very open to me about his feelings for Amanda, I don’t think I could do the same to him, I can’t tell him that I have feelings for the same girl that she likes.

 *     *     *

 I went outside the bathroom after a late night shower and lay on my bed after I put on my clothes on. It’s been a long week and thank God it’s Sunday tomorrow and I don’t have homework or things to do. I closed my eyes and was ready to sleep when my phone rang. What the hell? I look at the digital clock beside my bed, it says it’s already 12:45 a.m. Who would call me at this time of the night?

“Hiya, Ben!” it was Jeremy.

“Hullo, Jer,” I greeted. “So what’s up?” Why do people always call me at 12:45? Are these vampires or what?

There it goes; I wish I never answered his phone call. I put my phone under my bed and put my earphones on and played music as loud as possible, I will just tell Jeremy that I fell asleep.

*     *     *

I went outside the bathroom after a late night shower and lay on my bed after I put on my clothes on. It’s been a long week and thank God it’s Sunday tomorrow and I don’t have homework or things to do. I closed my eyes and was ready to sleep when my phone rang. What the hell? I look at the digital clock beside my bed, it says it’s already 7:25 p.m. I’m sure it is Jeremy or Amanda. Please be Amanda! It’s a miracle though that they called earlier than usual.

“Ben?” yes! It was Amanda. But there’s something wrong with her voice. Is she crying?

“Amanda!” I said. “What’s the problem? Are you crying?”

“Ben, I don’t know what to do,” she said and sobbed some more. I waited for her to stop and she said, “Peter broke up with me.”

“Hey, what?” I was shocked. After all that has happened between them (mainly Peter’s fault) now Peter just broke up with her? Isn’t that supposed to be that Amanda has the right to break up with him?

“I saw him a while ago with another girl,” she took a deep breath to stop herself from crying, “kissing.”

“Wha—! Bullshit, I mean, that jerk! How dare him to cheat on you!”

“And I talked to him over the phone and he told me that I got no right to accuse him for things that he didn’t do. I told him I saw it myself, and he said that our relationship won’t go anywhere else so it’s best if we just end it now,” she said calmly.

“Well I think it’s for the best, too,” I said. “You don’t deserve to have a guy like him in your life, a man whose brain was full of shit and jerk enough to be a terrorist’s son (I heard her chuckle) and clearly he doesn’t deserve to have a passionate, caring, lovely, and beautiful girl like you.”

“Ben, can I ask you to come over here? I’m alone and I don’t want to be alone tonight. Please?” she pleaded.

“Of course, I’ll be there in thirty minutes. I’ll just go and change my clothes!” I said enthusiastically.

I put down my phone and change clothes. I wore my white PE shirt and put my red sweater on and a pair of khaki shorts. I took my phone and ran outside my room. Mum and Dad’s on my grandmum’s place and they’re going to sleep there so I just knock on my sister’s bedroom and told her I’m going to Amanda’s place.

As expected, I pedalled my way to Amanda’s house of course considering the fact that I don’t have a car. I went to the police station, taking the shortcut, and I turned left to the post office where I took the straight path towards Mrs. Seeley’s, a family friend, and turned left again and found the Pierce’s house.

Amanda was waiting for me outside. “You said you’ll be here in 30 minutes.”

“Sorry I’m late,” I said.

“No you’re not late, in fact your five minutes early.”

The Pierce’s house was just as big as ours. I sat on the couch beside Amanda where bottles of soda and bags of chips are laid in front of me. “I hope you don’t mind watching Drew Barrymore movies,” Amanda said as she took the remote control and pressed the play button.

“No, I don’t mind,” I don’t mind to watch these kinds of movies as long as I’m watching it with you.

Neither of us mentioned the name Peter or talk about the topic that is related to him. We just enjoyed ourselves with the movie, chips, soda, and each other’s company (especially me!). Man, Jeremy will be jealous if he ever finds out about this!

When we reached the last thirty minutes of the movie, Amanda’s head fell on my shoulders. I look at her, she didn’t fell asleep. I just let her lay on my shoulders; we can be like this forever.  She held my hand and said, 

“Do you want to watch another Drew Barrymore movie?”

“No,”

We’re like that for the rest of the second movie. I put my head above hers, smelling her fragrant hair and wished that she was mine. I put my arm around her shoulders and we both sighed. I know that even if her eyes are watching, she’s thinking about what happened bet her and Peter. “I forgot, you know,” she said.

“Forgot what?” I was puzzled.

“Forgot what it feels like to have a family, to have people who ask you of your okay, to have someone there to have Holidays with you, someone to spend the day with,” she said. When I didn’t answer she added, “I lost my parents, you see, when I was eleven when our old house was burned. It was arson. The culprit was never caught. My Dad’s brother took me here and he became my father since then. He was like a real father to me and he even told me that I can call him Dad.”

“Are you still sad about you’re lost?” I asked. I realized it was a stupid question. “I guess you’re still grieving.”

“Sad, yes, but grieving, not anymore. People die every day, people will move on and world will revolve even without me, and it’s up to me if I will go with it or be stuck where I am. I don’t want to be left alone by the world so I have to move on; I have to move on for those people who will never come back to me.”

We drank soda and ate chips as we watch the movie. I didn’t let go of Amanda until she needs to go to the bathroom to wash her hands, I didn’t put my arms around her shoulders and she didn’t put her head back on mine, it would feel awkward if we did.

After 4 hours, two Drew Barrymore movies, two bags of chips, and two bottles of soda, we decided to sleep. I help her clean the things we used before I left. She accompanied me up to their drive way, and to my biggest surprise, she gave me a kiss on the cheek! I blushed of course, but she didn’t notice it because there’s not enough light outside to show how red my face is. “Thanks,” she said.

“No problem,” I said. “You’re welcome.”

I know now for sure that I’m in love with her, and I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends. I love her but I’m just too shy and I don’t know why!

I went home and went straight to bed. It was 1:00 a.m., I know I should be happy, I spent time with Amanda, she gave me a kiss on the cheek, I had the best night ever, but I am not! Why? Maybe it’s because I grew some care for Jeremy, and he’s my best friend, that I don’t want to be his rival. I feel like I’m betraying him by falling in love with Amanda.

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