Get It Right

I thought for sure that I have the strength of a hurricane, I thought I'm as fierce as the fire that consumes, I thought I'm good enough to call a "strong person." But I was wrong.

My toughness as a human... I measured it by how I can control my emotions, by how I can manipulate, calculate and execute my plans the way I planned it to be. But that's my biggest mistake. I'm not strong at all, because the real strength of a person comes from the people who believe in him. The more people who believes, the more stronger the person gets.

I don't know why people can't understand me, not even those who I count on to understand. One by one, they turned their back on me, I never thought I'll ever feel this way. My best friend is sick and can't aid me, my mom won't listen to me, my sister is my source of anger and everything my cousins do irritates me so much. Maybe the problem is in me... maybe I'm not the person I think I am.

No one believes in me, no one wants to listen to me, no one is here for me. Tell me, is my life worth living for? I thought for sure that I have something worth living for, something worthy to fight for, but now I'm not sure if I still have those "something."

Maybe, I should stop asking life to be fair with me cause it will never be, maybe I should stop fighting the waves of life and let it take me wherever I must be... maybe I should start accepting the fact that in this battle, I'm all alone. Because if I wait for someone to come or for something to happen then I will never get it right, I will never set things right, I will never put things to place. Maybe it's time for me not to say a single word even if what I hear hurts... even if it causes an excruciating pain... even if it engulf my soul and tear my flesh into pieces.

I will never wait for things to happen in favor of me, I will never wait for something to happen that will change everything things will never be right for me. I'm a boy who lived in a time he wasn't suppose to live in, a boy who should've been buried six feet underground fifteen years ago right after his birth...

When I die for the second time, people will forget that I existed, people forget that once they lived with me and lived in my time...